Between Fear And Awareness We Create Our Life

Last weekend an interesting thought surfaced. We are probably the only animals that do not step outside our shelters fearing that another animal might eat us alive.

That is part of how humanity evolved, and in many ways it is a beautiful thing. But with that evolution also came the awareness that death is inevitable. That life, as we know it, will end someday. We do not exist forever.

And somewhere between not fearing being eaten alive and knowing we will eventually die is where we fill life with meaning, ambition, purpose, identity, achievement, and restlessness. Maybe much of what drives us comes from the awareness that time is limited.

This also made me think that we may be the only animals that believe we are in control, not necessarily physically, but emotionally and psychologically. Yet much of that control may itself be an illusion. Perhaps that is where many of our struggles begin.

I was watching the movie Pig starring Nicolas Cage, the story of a recluse whose foraging pig is stolen, forcing him back into the city to search for it. Two thoughts from the movie stayed with me.

The first was this: when are we ready to let go of the life we have lived, with all its victories, achievements, identities, and dreams and move into a different phase of life? When and how do we abandon what has defined us for so long?

The second was this: when do we decide that recovering what we have lost, or what has been taken away from us, becomes the most important thing in our lives?

Both questions feel deeply significant to me at this stage of life, and perhaps they are worth pondering for all of us.