Last week I wrote an article about my journey of recovery and the process. It got a good readership and I got messages from both friends and acquaintances. There were two kind of responses I received. One was from people who wanted to genuinely help me and the other was people who felt what I said resonated with them.

For those who messaged to help me and extended their time for me to talk, I want to thank them all. I was able to write about recovery only after recovering. So I am doing good. I also want to mention that in situations such as these no one can help us other than ourselves. I have had close friends who have gone through extremely tough times that ended really bad and I never knew something was wrong with them. I have always felt guilty that I could not help. But now I understand. I could have done nothing unless that person was ready to take an action to ask help. Even then I am not sure if I could help anyone.

We might have the best intentions but we could be helpless in the situation. My reason of writing that post was to say to anyone and everyone who feel low. to say that it is ok and we all can be in a similar boat and could take that action to ask for help, professional or otherwise.

There is also an interesting fact that we might be open to help anyone but everyone need not be ready to ask or take help from us. There are so many factors behind us asking help. And that does not have to do with anyone else but us. We are all complex human beings trying to find simple solutions to life’s uncertainty.

Last week after I wrote that post I finished a book ‘Meaningful Work’ by Wes Adams, Tamara Myles. There was some very interesting things in it that I want to share with you all.

One is about goldfishes. A few months back I had written about an advice I received “to be like a gold fish”. I am a person who takes things to heart way more than I should. It could be about what people have done to me or what I might have done. I feel bad about things for longer than it should. I was advised to be like a goldfish because goldfishes have a very short memory and they enjoy the small tank they are in like it is full of surprises and filled with exciting new things. I am trying to practice that advice. Sometimes I succeed sometimes I don’t. But I am trying.

The book ‘Meaningful Work, talks about goldfishes in a slightly different context. The growth of a goldfish is influenced greatly by its surroundings. If it is in a small tank it grows only a bit. If it is put in a river, without the limitations of the tank it can grow much more. They say we are also like goldfishes and our surroundings influence our growth. So we need to actively work on the limitedness of our environments inorder to grow.

I liked that but as I started digging more, I learned something else. If you throw a goldfish into a river it can create a problem for local habitat as they consume much more than comparable fish. They eat more than other invasive fish and are also much more willing to aggressively take on other competing species. Interesting. We can also see such kind of goldfishes in human beings we engage in life and work. Huge energy drainers.

The goal is to be like a gold fish in the first two examples and beware of goldfishes around us in the third example. And a personal note to not be a goldfish that just consumes and aggressively destroys the local habitat.

That said there was another interesting thing in the book that I have started practicing daily. It has to do with the 3Cs of meaningful work and the three questions that come with it. I have started asking these questions myself every night. Here they are

Community: Did I connect with someone today?

I look at this question not just as connecting with someone or speaking to someone but the act of genuinely being useful to someone. This can be both on a professional and personal level. Did I feel part of a team, a community. Did I feel good being around someone today. G.K Chesterton’s words are what come to my mind always “We men and women are all in the same boat, upon a stormy sea. We owe to each other a terrible and tragic loyalty.” Did I feel that way today?

Did anyone matter to me today and did I feel mattered in the large scheme of things?

Contribution: Is anything better in this world because of what I did today?

Many times we struggle drawing a direct line between what we do and the positive impact it has on the world. It is not obvious in many work environments to see if we really made the world a better place. I don’t think we have to worry about the larger world, but we can think about our little world. Our small sphere of influence. Did we make that a bit better. Did we destroy or improve someone’s world and day at work.

We will be surprised how much power we hold in our words and actions to both ruin or inspire and build other people’s work life.

I have had bad days that I could attribute to the words and actions of some people and I have in introspection found how I have done the same to others. Today I try to daily put a check on myself. I cannot always control others doing to me, other than deliberately ignore some people. But I can make sure I don’t destroy other people’s worlds. And if I do it unknowingly, do an introspection end of day and correct it.

Challenge: Did I learn something new today?

We as human beings are an ongoing work in progress, learning something new every day and redefining our own boundaries. imperfect but moving on. Challenge is the main ingredient in learning. It is difficult to learn something new if we keep doing the same thing over and over with no change. The challenge can be pushed to us or it can be something we seek and get.

To be honest I have had the tendency sometimes to not take up a challenge and that has to do with a myriad of reasons. Lack of a self confidence, an imposter symptom or even a fear of failure. Sometimes it also has to do with the culture at a workplace. Some workplace and people reward trying new things but some other places and people knowingly or unknowingly discourage it. Innovation and creativity just remain mere words and lip service and never actionable.

Many work cultures also curtail innovation and creativity unknowingly. When we feel we are playing safe we should rethink our positions, because we cannot learn while playing safe. We might be driven to not take up a challenge but we cannot afford excuses.

If you think your workplace forces you to play it too safe, limiting your learning potential, you should seriously make a decision to change the way work is done there. We cannot afford not learning

Finally I asked myself why I write these posts. While I am happy when people read it and respond to it. These are just reflections that help me travel through what I read or listened and what thoughts it brought to my mind. This writing is more for my benefit and I publish it out here, because I am nothing special or unique and as Chesterton said, we are all in the same boat. We all can learn from sharing one another’s experiences.

Check the book ‘Meaningful Work’ by Wes Adams, Tamara Myles, if you are into reading or listening to them.

Also it might happen that we don’t get a Yes answer for these questions everyday and that is perfectly ok. If we never get a yes answer, then that is a time when we should probably start thinking why it is so.