A few Thursdays before as part of Throwback Thursday I posted a picture on LinkedIn. It was from May 2010. A time I was at the rock bottom of my life both financially and even professionally. Full of self doubt and absolutely stuck and unable to see what was ahead. But from a family standpoint I was happy. I had a lot of love around me. I still had my smile.
This picture was taken under the Chandelier Tree in Leggett California.
In December 2010 I got a second chance in my professional life. It might have even been my 3rd or 4th or 5th chance. It was a chance nevertheless.
I got a new employment to do something that I had not done before and I left my old professional self behind me. I did not know if I could do the new role. But I really had no choice, but to accept it and see where it takes me.
I was in my late thirties. I did not know what skills I had acquired by this time, but I sure had accumulated enough credit card debt and a stack of unpaid bills that kept my phone ringing for days – calls from debt collectors.
I was also 42 pounds heavier than what I amd now. I often wonder how I got there. It was my total mismanagement of my life.
Why am I telling this now? Because I recently listened to the book Confidence by Dr Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic and it has shifted how I look at my own self-doubt.
As I reflect back to 2010 and then look at things today which is many times better than what it was 15 years back I realize something.
Self-Doubt has never really left me, it is part of me and Tomas’s book helps me tie a few loose ends.
For a long time, I thought my lack of confidence was holding me back. But the book revealed something more powerful — confidence without competence is just an illusion, while competence built through doubt is real growth.
That was insightful for me. Even after doing something a hundred times, there’s still that whisper. What if 101 is my Waterloo? I often stopped at that thought instead of really acting on it.
Reading the book made me realize that when we feel less confident, it’s often because we can sense a gap between where we are and where we want to be. And that gap is not a flaw, it is a feedback. It is telling us where to learn, where to improve, and where to focus our energy.
Over time, I’ve realized that some things in my life were battered by self-doubt while others were sabotaged by overconfidence. Yes, confidence makes us feel good, but competence is honest and can make us better. Sometimes, self-doubt is the quiet ingredient that pushes us toward growth.
The book is very insightful and I recommend it to anyone seeking a no-nonsense perspective on confidence. I am sure there are many (even those who will not admit) struggling with confidence or hiding behind overconfidence.
Competence is hard work and confidence is an outlook. Confidence matters, but it won’t replace the grind needed to improve, change, grow..
Penpositive 
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