Sometimes I wonder what makes me happy. What makes others happy. What makes us all do what we do. There are no straight answers. It is a mix bag. Not having straight answers does not mean we stop asking these questions.

What makes me happy?
There are many things that make me feel good and for me sometimes. I feel good about things both personal and professional. They are so intertwined for me and I don’t know if that is a good thing or bad. It is just what it is.

Small successes make me see meaning in things I do. Getting up in the morning and having some time to myself having coffee makes me content. Conversations where I talk less make me feel part of something.

I tend to talk too much and I am working on it. I have realized that my talking too much is part of my insecurities. I have come to understand that people can only listen if they feel really secure with themselves, with others and their surroundings.

My goal is not even to be happy, I don’t know if that is even a possibility. My goal is to be content. The irony of today’s fast paced hyper self promotional world is that It is so easy to show others how happy we are and what great life we are having when it is extremely difficult to be truly content.

We don’t feel content in public as we take selfies, We feel content when we are alone, when everyone is sleeping and we are all to ourself. I feel content when I write this.

What makes others happy?
There can be many things but I think we all need to learn to be genuinely happy for others as they feel happy. Be part of it than ruin it. Stop measuring others to our standards and poke holes in others. It does no one any good. Be there for people. I feel good when someone comes to me for a help and we part with the other person feeling better. This happens more professionally for me than personally and that is something I need to work on in my personal relationships.

What makes us all do what we do?
None of us are truly free even though we want to believe so. We are all influenced in one way or other. It is also about what we want. We do things because we want something. I think we all should try to understand the concept of “memetic desires” more.

I read it in an article by Luke Burgis a while back where he talks about this idea which was originally put forward by the French social scientist René Girard.

Most people think, often unconsciously that there is a direct connection between them and the things they want, while it is not that simple.

Memetic desires means that we humans are fundamentally imitative creatures. We don’t simply desire things based of their inherent qualities or our own internal needs. Instead, we observe the desires of others and then model our desire on those same things. We then start believing that we do things because we truly want it.

I know it is scary. but it is an interesting thought experiment. Where do our desires really come from? Try it.