Meetings & Meetings

Have you ever wanted to run out of a meeting screaming at the top of your voice? Okay, that may be a little dramatic. But most of us have sat through meetings where we were disinterested… frustrated… or wondering why we were even there.

And if we are honest, we have also been on the other side. We have called meetings that slowly drifted away from what we expected. Conversations move in different directions. People talk past each other. The energy drops. What was supposed to create clarity sometimes creates more confusion.

But every now and then there are meetings that feel different. Ideas move freely. People build on each other’s thoughts. You walk away with energy instead of exhaustion.

I sometimes wonder how much of that experience is actually in my control. My guess is probably not much, maybe half at best. Context matters. Personalities matter. Timing matters. And it also changes depending on whether you are leading the meeting or simply part of it.

But there is one part that might be within reach. how we show up. Earlier this week I was reminded of that.

On Monday morning I was in a meeting where I felt visibly frustrated. By evening that feeling had only grown. I tried to read but couldn’t focus. I kept opening Slack again and again, almost as if I was looking for something that would resolve the feeling.

Looking back, it probably wasn’t really about anyone else. It was about my own expectations about how I thought people should behave, how decisions should unfold, how conversations should move. I carried that frustration through the evening and eventually to bed.

I don’t control others and don‘t have to. That should not be my trip in life. I should let go. I am not important.

The next day I had another meeting. But before joining, I tried a small mental shift. Instead of trying to steer the conversation or evaluate everything that was happening, I decided to simply listen and understand.

The meeting turned out to be one of the most useful conversations I had this week. Not because anything dramatic happened, but because the moment I focused on understanding instead of reacting, the situation felt lighter and clearer. Nothing outside had really changed. Only my perspective had.

And it made me think about how much of our professional life happens inside meetings, discussions, decisions, disagreements, alignment, misunderstandings. We spend a large part of our careers inside rooms like that.

Maybe the skill is not learning how to control every meeting. Maybe it is learning how to enter them with a different mindset.

Because sometimes the difference between a frustrating meeting and a meaningful one is simply the mindset we bring into the room.

As Prince Myshkin laments “People suffer because they misunderstand each other”