When I get criticized

Why do we have an issue when someone criticizes us ? Maybe it does not bother you, but it sure bothers me. Even when I ask for a feedback and I initiated it, the moment it starts sounding like a criticism, it starts hurting. An uncomfortable feeling that grows inside. A point comes when everything falls silent and there is a roar that slowly erupts inside me. Well, no need to be that dramatic. But you get the drill.

I am uncomfortable with criticism, but why ?

I think it is because criticism shatters my image of myself. It questions the abilities I think I have. My self image of how good I am is under the radar. I stop seeing that as an opportunity of improvement and start the defense. From then on it is just me trying to paint myself better.

So what do I do ?

I need to accept that I have a lot of room for improvement and not everyone is going to give me a feedback the way I want it. Some are going to be brutal and some are going to tear you apart. Yes, the choice is mine to accept it or not.

It is easy to say than done. but I am going to be more self aware of criticisms. Maybe I should build an internal system to rate feedbacks and criticisms from people. This could also give me a good data to better deal with it. Maybe I will also be able to build a feedback Board for my self improvement.

I need to move from hating criticisms to understanding them better. This could also help me get better in giving feedback and adding value to other people’s improvement.